Persuasive+Writing

**__Persuasive Writing__**
In class we are learning about persusive writing here is a few samples Pies are better than pizzas Pies area better than pizzas because when you bite into the soft but crunchie pastry and get the nice warm filling oozing out with a taste sensation. Pies are good because you can put any thing in them and it will still taste really good. Pies are good on a nice cold winters day because the pie warms your insides. The most eaten pies are mince, mince and cheese, steak, steak and cheese, cottage pie, chicken pie and fruit pies. You can get pies in all shapes and sizes but circle is the most popular. I recommend a pie to anyone trying to fill their stomach. Then there is pizzas they are quite nice but they cost heaps, and if you get them delivered they can be cold and soggy. Some pizza places forget to put sauce on and it tastes dry. The top of the pizza sometimes falls off and your left with the crust. Those are my reasons why I think a pizza is better than a pie.

Reflection I think that I covered my main points well and used good emotion.

Persuasive Writing 2

Last year I enjoyed the ski trip and I would like to go again to teach me how to ski because im not very good (Oliver) and would like to refresh my memory. Last year we had a lot of fun and this year it should be better. I will come back knowing how to ski and you will only have to pay a very small price of about $150. As you may already know we loved the ski trip we especially loved the skiing we also liked every other thing that we did and if you let us go to the ski trip again we can have an excellent learning experience and also have a lot of fun at the same time and be able to achieve our goal which is relating to others. We will also learn a lot of skills while planning the ski trip including skiing and a range of other skills. Last year we stayed at top ten it was very nice there and we played rugby every day on the bouncy pillow it was very fun as it was also they had very clean and good facilities. There was also a pool and a TV in every cabin which had sky and was crystal clear. Overall the accommodation was excellent and we would want to stay there again but we need you to supply us with the money to go first. The ski trip is a very worth while experience and we need to concur our challenges and step up to opportunities meet all the standards we will need to be mature if we want to relate to others. Over all the ski trip is going to be a such a good experience and opportunity to all of us and we need you to let us go. __**
 * __ Dear Mum and Dad  __**
 * __ Yours Sincerely

Goal My goal is to use morepersausive words.

Parent Comment: I would like to buy a pie more than a pizza on his writing. They sound much nicer. I still need some convincing on the ski trip. I would like to see more about the value for money & a list of other skills the class will learn; ie balance, hand/eye coordination? Over all a good effort.

Last Persuasive Writing:

Speeches shouldn’t be compulsory Oh No speeches are coming again this is the worst part of the year I don’t even know what subject to do and they are dew next week, this is what a lot of kids sound like when they’re teacher says get out your books and write a speech. Speeches are unfortunately a part of life and I disgust them, they eventually run around every year and I get stressed and nervous that’s why I think that speeches shouldn’t be in schools and if they are they shouldn’t be compulsory. There are a few things I would like to cover and they are the bad side of speeches, why speeches don’t help you when you’re older and why speeches are just so terrible. Speeches are bad because you can get really nervous when your standing up in front of a lot of people and sweat and go as red as a tomato. Also you have to put in all that practice for nothing, and writing it is terrible because you really don’t want to do it but you have to and you get all worked up just about writing a paragraph of words. Have you ever thought of the medical problems that could happen you could faint or even have a mental overload. Your veins can even pop out and that is very bad for you because you could have a heart attack. Also those little annoying queue cards are easy to get lost and they are really hard to write on, they are also hard to remember what to say if you have bullet points. When a teacher says speeches will help you in the long run I thing that they are just saying that to make you feel better about speeches. Speeches will not help you in the future because they could give you more nerves till you can’t even speak to a small group of people, they also wont help you get into jobs because you write a resume not speak it. Speeches are for people in politics not average people that get up in the morning and think today is just another day of work, so they go and earn the money and that’s it no speeches just an average day. If you do speeches when your younger speeches could give you such a fright when your older that you just want to stay at home all day and not talk to the real world. Children of my generation should not have to do speeches because in the high-tech world of today there is TV and radio to do the talking and advertising. Speeches should be for people who aspire to be on TV or an actor/actress or maybe be in a high business or politics. Speeches have a bad impact on other children because they could make them a bit sad and they could use that sadness as anger and bully people and that would turn in to a school problem or even a city problem using the cops then it could turn into a life of crime and possibly jail. Speeches have a terribly bad impact on your life and not many people like them. I have covered the bad side of speeches with the medical problems then speeches will not help you in the long run then finally why speeches are bad for you when you get older with a life of crime. I hope that next time you have to do a speech you look at this and **say no** about speeches because they are terrible for you and your community. These are my reasons why speeches should be banned in all schools and we should never have to do them again. **//THANK YOU//**

Persuasive writing rubric

·  Spelling || Most commonly used words are spelt correctly || No more than 10% spelling errors and developing breadth in word usage || No more than 5% spelling errors and developing breadth of word usage appropriate to genre || ·  Main Ideas || includes several ideas, some with supporting detail || beginning to support main ideas with increasing detail || consistently includes details to support main ideas || Ideas are linked logically through paragraphs || beginning to vary sentences using conjunctions || varies sentence beginnings and length beginning to vary sentence structures in a variety of ways and may use complex sentences || varies sentence beginnings and sentence length to suit purpose. Sentence structures varied using complex sentences with subordinate clauses. || ·   Repetition || Uses repetition without effect || beginning to use repetition and achieve desired effect || Uses repletion effectively || Teacher Comment Well done Oliver. Through your writing you have demonstrated clear progression in your writing from your first attempt through to your final piece. In your final piece I really like how your opinion is clear and you have used your own thoughts with persuasive evidence to try and persuade your audience. I also enjoyed how you have tried to use imagery within your writing, and appealed to your audiences feelings.Your writing has flow but at times I think you possibly need to reinforce your points using real life evidence from different sources to add emphasis to your argument. I would also like to see you change your ending as it lacks the punch which your audience would expect. Overall though you should be proud of your development. 
 * || Lvl 2 || Lvl 3 || Lvl 4 ||
 * Surface Features
 * ·  Punctuation || Mostly correct use of full stops, capitals, commas and question marks. Beginning to use question marks || Mostly correct use of full stops, capitals, commas, exclamation marks speech marks and question marks ||  Accurate use of full stops, capitals, commas, exclamation marks speech marks, question marks, apostrophes, parentheses,  ||
 * ·  Vocabulary || || || ||
 * Deeper Features
 * ·  Paragraphing || some sequencing is evident || ideas are beginning to be organised into paragraphs || paragraphs are easy to read and have supporting detail for main ideas.
 * ·  Sentence Structure || beginning to vary sentence length and beginnings
 * Specific Language Features
 * ·  Emotion || beginning to use emotive words || beginning to use emotive language that appeals to audience || Uses emotive language effectively to convey desired message to audience ||
 * ·  Structure || attempts to grab audience attention and give an opinion statement || Grabs audience attention and attempts to give clear opinion statement || Grabs audience attention and gives clear opinion statement ||